(or F–k, I Was a Weird Kid)
When I was reorganizing my closet a few weeks ago, I found a couple of old diaries that I wrote in from grades 3-8. They’re incredibly cringe-y at times, but they’re also pretty hilarious. Here are a few of my favourite entries from the first one, with my present-day commentary.
(There are some real doozies in the second one, too, but I’ll save those for another day.)
February 9, 1992 (8 years old)
Today we had lunch at Pizza Hut and we all realy [sic] enjoyed our lunch. Later int he day I went to Jessica’s to play. We played Nintendo. Then Jessica’s aunt and uncle came and we watched TV. In a few minutes I had to go home. We had a little supper because we had a big lunch.
(Ed: In almost all of my entries, I talk about food. It’s not so bad here, but it makes for some… awkward results later on.)
June 26, 1992 (8 years old)
Devon’s love with Paul is over. I’m not sure if she love’s [sic] anyone now. I’m happy becase [sic] school’s finally out and when school’s out for Devon I’m going to call her.
(Ed: The love lives of eight-year-olds are apparently very dramatic.)
July 9, 1992 (8 years old)
Hana’s cat had her kittens on Tuesday. They’re so cute! I can’t beleive [sic] she’s selling them. I wish I could bury (Ed: Dear God… I really hope I meant “buy”…) one. I really miss Devon. I was so surprised when I found out she was sleeping over. The food at dinner was so good. I hope I get to know next time there’s a surprise. (Ed: Apparently I didn’t understand how surprises work.)
July 13, 1992 (8 years old)
Yesterday we went to the R.O.M. I loved the dinosaurs and the bat cave. (Ed. NO YOU DIDN’T LOVE THE BAT CAVE! You were terrified of it. Why are you lying to your diary?!). But I hated when somone [sic] pulled the fire alarm. We were on the second floor. (Ed. Thanks for that important detail!) Tomorrow we’re going to Boblo Island. Tomorrow I’ll write about that.
July 15, 1992 (8 years old)
I really liked Boblo Island.
(Ed: Seriously, that was the entry. I guess I felt like I needed to follow through on my promise?)
Jan 5, 1994 (10 years old)
I can’t believe it! I’ve been searching for this diary for almost 2 years! Major bad news. Grandpa died. Today we went to McDonald’s for lunch and got hot chocolate at Tim Hortons. Catch ya later!
(Ed: I mean… at least I was doing alright after my grandpa died? To be clear, it was six months earlier, but, still… the man deserved more respect than to be a side-note before I talked about (of course) my lunch! Sorry Grandpa; I still miss you… but I did laugh pretty hard at this entry.)